If you’ve ever poured milk into the pantry or brushed your teeth with diaper cream (just me?), welcome. You might be parenting with ADHD. And if you’re also raising neurodivergent kiddos? Grab a coffee—if you remembered to make one—and let’s talk about what it’s really like.
I’m a mom of three:
👧 A 5-year-old who is deeply imaginative and constantly asking “Why?”
🧒 A 3-year-old with ADHD who believes walls are for climbing and silence is suspicious
👶 A 4-month-old who has never once respected the concept of sleep
And yes, I have ADHD too. So every day, I’m parenting through a swirl of executive dysfunction, overstimulation, hyperfocus, and the occasional “Oops, forgot pants” moment.
If you’ve ever felt like you were the one needing the visual schedule—you’re not alone.
ADHD Isn’t Just “Being Distracted”
Let’s debunk that real quick. ADHD in moms doesn’t look like forgetting where you put your keys once. It looks like:
- Forgetting you started laundry until the next day (or three)
- Mentally prepping for a task for 4 hours but never starting it
- Getting hyperfocused on reorganizing baby socks while dinner burns
- Crying because the noise, mess, and mental load feel like too much—and they are
But it also looks like this:
💡 Incredible creativity in problem-solving
💗 Emotional intuition and connection with your kids
🌀 The flexibility to shift gears when plans crash and burn (as they often do)
The Mental Load, ADHD Style
I wake up and my brain instantly opens 35 tabs:
- Did I RSVP to the birthday party?
- What was I supposed to buy at Target?
- Why is there a sippy cup in the shower?
- Did I schedule that evaluation for the 3-year-old’s OT?
And sometimes… I freeze. Because when everything feels urgent, nothing gets done.
This is where executive dysfunction hits the hardest. It’s not laziness. It’s invisible resistance—your brain screaming “do it!” while your body stays frozen.
What helps?
✅ Body-doubling: I text a fellow mom-friend, “Hey, I need to do dishes. You?”
✅ Timers: I use a Time Timer visual clock so my brain doesn’t time-travel without me.
✅ Low-friction tools: I set out tomorrow’s clothes the night before—even for myself.
The ADHD & Parenting Combo: Messy but Magical
It’s not all burnout and forgotten appointments. Having ADHD means I get my kids in a way that’s intuitive. I understand:
- Why my 3-year-old needs to jump before breakfast
- How it feels to get overwhelmed by too many steps
- Why focusing feels like trying to hold onto fog
That makes me more patient (most days), more empathetic, and more likely to turn meltdowns into snuggle moments.
(If this resonates, check out my post on parenting a child with ADHD while managing your own. It’s real and raw.)
Sensory Overload + Motherhood = A Lot
My ADHD comes with sensory processing issues, which means normal parenting stuff—crying baby, barking dog, toys clattering—can send me spiraling.
Sometimes I snap and feel awful. Sometimes I need to hide in the bathroom. And sometimes, I pop in my noise-reducing earplugs and just… keep going.
I’ve learned to identify my triggers:
- Loud, sudden noises
- Bright, flashing screens
- Multitasking while tired (which is always)
So I build in sensory recovery breaks. It might look like:
🧘 A 3-minute deep breathing app
🎧 15 minutes of lo-fi music while nursing
💆♀️ Letting my 5-year-old “play salon” while I lie still
Hyperfocus: Blessing & Curse
When I can focus, I laser in. Suddenly I’m reorganizing the toy shelf like it’s a NASA mission. But hyperfocus doesn’t turn on when it’s convenient. Not when the toddler’s melting down or the baby’s eating a sticker.
I try to use hyperfocus in my favor:
- Meal prepping while I have the drive
- Scheduling content for my blog in a single sprint
- Playing deeply engaged pretend games with my kids when I’m in the zone
And when it’s not working, I forgive myself. Because forcing focus with ADHD is like trying to push water uphill.
How I Structure Our Chaos
We don’t run on traditional routines. Instead, we use anchor points:
- Wake-up = screen time snuggle
- Post-lunch = sensory play bin
- Bath time = audiobook time for everyone
We build our days around those so I don’t drown in a minute-by-minute plan that inevitably collapses.
I also swear by:
🛒 Routine Cards for Kids – My 5-year-old uses them to keep track of morning and bedtime routines independently. Less stress for both of us.
Let’s Talk Guilt
I yell sometimes. I forget appointments. I let my kids watch Bluey while I doom-scroll to regulate my nervous system. The guilt creeps in like laundry mildew.
But I’m learning to talk back to it:
- “I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have today.”
- “Messy doesn’t mean failing.”
- “My love is consistent, even when my energy isn’t.”
This isn’t toxic positivity. It’s radical self-compassion. It’s the only way I survive without drowning in shame.
A Note for Other ADHD Moms
If you’re out here parenting with ADHD and wondering if you’re the only one falling apart behind the baby gate—you’re not.
You are:
- Doing enough
- Allowed to be overwhelmed
- Allowed to get help (therapy, meds, naps, frozen nuggets—whatever works)
You are not lazy. You are not weak. You are navigating an intense parenting journey with a brain that has to work twice as hard to do the basics.
And you’re still showing up.
Affiliate Products That Help Me Cope:
🛒 Time Timer Visual Clock – Helps me (and my kids) stay on task with less yelling.
🛒 Noise-Reducing Earplugs for Moms – My go-to for sensory breaks.
🛒 Routine Cards for Kids – Empowering my kids = less chaos for me.
Affiliate Disclosure:
This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase through one of these links. I only recommend tools I use personally or genuinely believe will help other moms navigating parenting with ADHD. Thank you for supporting this blog (and my ever-growing sticky note collection)!
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