Becoming A First Time Mom

Becoming a first-time mom comes with so many emotions. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Pair those with raging hormones and you have an over emotional wreck of a woman. Now, I’m not saying this in a negative way. What I’m saying is the truth, and if you’re anything like me, pregnancy is just the beginning. After becoming a mom, I finally understood the meaning of true love and its depths. I felt every emotion so deeply because when I finally became a mom, I wore my heart on my sleeve. I had no choice; I had a piece of my heart living outside of my body. My daughter.

I did everything I was supposed to. Read the books. Drank the vitamins. Prepped my body with Red Raspberry Leaf Tea and Evening Primrose Oil. Started squatting my life away at 37 weeks and I expected it to be so easy because I knew what was “supposed to happen”. Too bad everything went the complete opposite of what I had expected. Of what I had planned, because apparently, I thought I could plan my birth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for preparing for a positive birth experience and having your preferences. What I mean though is that you can’t plan the unexpected. You also can’t plan how you’ll react in a moment of flight or fight.

How It Starts

I was a first time mom. I ended up with an unplanned c section. Recovery wasn’t horrible but trying to heal while learning to breastfeed. The pressure from my mom and MIL to just give the baby formula because her latch wasn’t right and my nipples were bleeding. It was so rough. Consumed by this tiny human who’s every ounce of their being depended on me for survival. For love. Connection and comfort. It was overwhelming. Im here to tell you though that it was, and still is, also beautiful.

How It Feels

We felt prepared. We had all the things. The clothes, diapers, the gadgets, swings and toys. Then maybe used a whole 20% of that. People told us their opinions, their tips and tricks, the family traditions and all that good stuff. We stuck to trusty ol’ google and the baby experts. We chose our own way and learned what worked for us. How complicated people make it. We also learned how truly awesome it was to have the opportunity to raise a little person. A responsibility that as fun as it could be, we didn’t take lightly. Still don’t 2 kids later.

The thing about motherhood is that you get to choose how to do it. You are that child’s mama. No one else. So don’t allow people to demonize the hard parts of motherhood. Especially as a first time mom. None of us go into this expecting it to be rainbow and butterflies all the time. We KNOW it’s going to be hard, and we speak about our hardships seeking support and empathy, not always guidance or opinionated advice.

The Reality

This new generation of mothers. We’re taking it upon ourselves to change the impression of motherhood. Embracing the hard parts, showing gratitude to the beautiful ones and most importantly, breaking cycles. Doing more research, recognizing our flaws and learning to heal our traumas. It’s transformative to see. The work we mothers are doing now, to raise this next generation. Hopefully to be different. To be more conscious. More aware. More confident than we were raised to be in the past.

In Conclusion

Becoming a first-time mom is an adventure, one that doesn’t have to end as long as we continue to do our part. When we allow ourselves to continue to grow. When we allow ourselves to be changed by our children instead of feeling challenged by them. By feeling confident in doing things our way instead of how we’re expected or were taught to do them. When we see motherhood as a lifelong transformative journey instead of just a part of life, we do for 18 years and then move on.

I also want to share with you this secret: You will ALWAYS be a first time mom at some point in your motherhood journey. Even as a mama of multiple children. This is because there will always be “firsts” for you and not every child will have them the same. So embrace the challenge. Embrace the excitement and emotion. Wear those hearts on your sleeves proudly because as hard as it may be, you’ll overcome those moments, and see that becoming a first time mom is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

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