Picturing yourself with a newborn and a toddler is one thing. Actually doing the thing is a whole other story! It’s definitely not an easy task, but it doesn’t have to be as daunting as people make it seem. There IS a way to set yourself up for success. With a 2 year old, and a 3 month old, I think I can confidently say I have an idea of what I’m doing. So I’m here to give you some tips on how to survive with a newborn and a toddler.
1. Creat A Routine
I know with a newborn sometimes that’s not always possible. Especially the first few days when you’re still getting a hang of things. As soon as you do though it’s important to set some sort of routine for yourself and your little ones, especially if you’re a SAHM. Babies and toddlers alike thrive off routine and predictability. It definitely doesn’t need to be anything complicated. For us it’s grabbing some snacks and our water, strapping baby on, and we’re out for a walk. Usually this happens about an hour after breakfast, but always before nap time. Baby on mommy in the carrier and toddler on her push bike, we get in a good 30 minutes of fresh air in the morning. I highly recommend a baby carrier like this Infantino one because it’ll give you more freedom and safety with a toddler running around. Also a push bike like this Radio Flyer one is convenient to have because it’s easier to push around than a stroller. It also grows with your toddler. Creating a routine though doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, just something you and your children can look forward to daily.
2. 10 Minute Moment
So the 10 minute moment consists of sometime during your day when you dedicate 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to your toddler. No phones, no baby, no daddy. Just you and your toddler. Let them choose the activity or the conversation topic and be present. This 1 on 1 time works wonders as it gives you and them a sense of deeper connection. Usually when you’re toddler starts to act out it’s because they don’t feel seen or heard and crave that attention. This can help to fulfill that need or prevent it all together. This is a big part of my overall philosophy of being a conscious mama, being aware of how we are showing up for our little ones and acknowledging that as hard as it may be we need to do our part to fulfill their biological needs.
3. Lower Your Expectations
My third tip on how to survive with a toddler and a newborn is to lower your expectations. It’s going to be rough in the beginning. You may have imagined how it would be with two little ones but you never know how it’s really going to go. Your toddler can act completely different than you would’ve thought they would. I know mine did forsure! Your newborn as well. So set the standards low in the beginning. Do as much as you can on the days you have the mental and physical capacity to do so, and on the days you don’t, give yourself grace. With time you’ll fall into a flow and be able to build from there, but in that adjustment period, don’t expect too much from anyone.
4. Practice Patience
You’re going to need a lot of it. Not just for your newborn, but your toddler, your partner and yourself as well! This is something we parents can sometimes struggle with. Especially with inconsistent meals, lack of sleep, triggered by sensory overload. Trust me mama, I hear you. I see you. I’ve been there. In the trenches, and I made it out, so you will too. But it’s going to take patience. If you haven’t heard of the term “gentle parenting” then maybe now is the perfect time to start. It’s basically taking a calmer and more compassionate approach to parenting rather than the authoritarian and disciplinary approach we’re used to. It works, especially when it comes to helping your toddler manage their big feelings. A new baby is a big change for everyone, so with that base of understanding, take time before baby comes to practice a little more patience with your toddler. They deserve it.
It’s going to be challenging in the beginning. I will admit that, but if you’re still feeling nervous, check out my article here on How To Prepare For A Second Baby. Nothing but personal experience and trial and error will get you through this phase, but if you can apply these tips mentally and follow through, you’ll see yourself feeling a little more confident at this whole mom of 2 thing!
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